A sign of things to come

The person laughed when I declared that my blog was called 'The cosmos is within me and I am within it' and called it cheesy. Well call it what you like, I enjoy writing and I feel the title fits in with what I wish to convey.

Why was this a sign of things to come? Being laughed at first and then being taken seriously is quite the norm now. Ha ha, you really think that; oh by the way do you know (with the original supposedly laughable statement being repeated as fact). I don't care really, afterall I shall do what I get joy out of. But one does wonder, whether the other person understands the depths and the thought process behind certain actions and way of thinking. Perhaps, it is too taxing to go into detail and think about the rationale of a thought.

I suppose I should feel pleased about the fact that I bring a feeling of not having to apply yourself too much, or that one does not need to make the effort. But then again, why should it be such an effort? I suppose that is a sign of taking things for granted. When you have something, you don't clean it as much or you don't give it much thought thinking that it is with you and it is going nowhere. However, you might be guilty of allowing it to degrade or not letting it glow in its glory or sharing something that it is good at.

I shall keep an open mind. If I am laughed at, so be it, it is you who shall be missing out.

Note to self

Change the day you were born, so that it doesn't pain you too much to think that after you are called, 15 days later, within the same month, the same phonecall is made, but to someone else.

Absurd, well, so be it.

Tears

Why do you cry?

Because you are happy?
or are you sad?

Did someone make you see sense?
or did someone not let you see the mess?

Are you overjoyed by the accomplishments?
Or by the transformation?

You hardly cried before; now you shed tears everyday.
For multiple reasons, how things have changed, how life has shifted.

Anything is possible

Anything is possible. And never say never. Two synonymous statements.

Anything is possible. Fulfilling a dream of being successful in the world of finance; be able to help society by working with children; finding someone who ticks all the right boxes.

You can do what you want and get what you want, but you have to work hard and well. Being a hard worker doesn't quite do the job, its about how smart you can work too; how resourceful you can be, apply fore and hindsight to increase your chances of success whilst decreasing the time it takes to attain it.

People have various ways of attaining what they wish for. Integrity and ambition are perhaps the two aspects that can drive one to achieve ones goals. You don't have to be 'intelligent', as long as common sense prevails, one can use the resources around you to work with you and for you. Intelligence is such a subjective term. What is intelligence, having the ability to score well in IQ tests or the ability to take in information, process it such that a valuable result is produced?

There is a flip side of the 'anything is possible; too. For the pessimist too, anything is possible, it is possible that you will fail, lose everything you have and not recover or not be able to support the people you need to. There is no limit to the direction in which you can take 'anything is possible'.

You can go up and reach a ceiling; you can go down and hit the bottom or you can go side ways and hit a wall.

Or, you can go up and reach the stars, you can go down and hit the sea bed or travel laterally and never find an obstacle.

Perception, how you percieve a situation has a great impact on the process, the result and its after effects.

Are you born with how you percieve things, or can you be taught to look at the world a certain way? I think you are born with a certain slant with which one sees the world, however I do believe that with the right mindset and environment, the human brain is wired to relearn many things and build a new set of schemas.

Treat the mind gently, and it is possible to teach yourself anything.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder

Roughly 5456 miles, the north Atlantic ocean separating the two land masses.

Modern technology allows you to speak and see your loved ones like never before. You can show off the trousers that you bought, you can advise the man on the colour of their tie or tell them off if their room is untidy.

It is such a comfort to hear their voice and see them smile, frown or get angry. However, nothing can replace having someone in front of you; peck them on the cheek or pinch them on their arm.
It's the small things that you miss when apart; waking someone up in the morning, hearing the other person drink tea or munch on a snack, hear them sleep, look them in the eye when you tell them something and anticipate a reaction or have them help you choose between two types of potatoes.

The usual and mundane, when absent, become the most missed.

The board of life

At certain moments in life
A realisation occurs,
that some of us are the pieces on a chess board

One might mistakenly assume that you walk in the direction you choose,
Or that you think what you wish to think.

People around you make their moves and play upon their strategy,
and you are part of it.

You can break free and do what is done unto you,
or you can break free and never look back.

Tied down by the pain of being a pawn, that I cannot be.
Thought I was the queen, oh don't be silly.
I just fell into place, filled a space; isn't that what life is all about?
Then you find out that you were not the best piece and perhaps never meant to be.

The heart and mind shatter, with a scream stuck inside you.
A stream of tears roll down your face, too exhausted to wipe them away.
You wake up at night, wondering if the blow was real.
The pain will follow; you are too numb to feel.

I bring it upon myself perhaps, my naivety or simplicity.

I say to myself 'chin up', but with anger and anguish in mind.

A new breeze

Another year is coming to a close and I feel it is time to recount the feelings, actions and events of the past year. Perhaps I should make this a yearly ritual; pen things down for future reference and learning.

It has been more than a year since I started working at a place that I enjoy. I have met numerous people along the way; been to different countries and experienced their way of life and thinking which is always refreshing.

Parallel to work life, my personal life has taken a turn. Initially full of high emotion, at times draining along with a tug of words, it was quite a whirlwind. Looking back it is all so surreal. I still have to pinch myself, and fully appreciate what I have.

I have been angry, I have laughed and cried. I was hostile, unflinching and ruthless; then I softened, as I thought it is my own loss if I do not open up and go against my own ethos of being open-minded. That facade, which only the near and dear saw, I had to release, to show that I can be friendly, flexible and loving. I however did not have to make much effort opening up, as the warmth and humour of a lovely soul helped elicit that side of me.

Two minds meet and combine to form a singular, symbiotic unit. Here, two families met, and formed a bond that stemmed from the time and affection put in by all individuals.

For the first time, I shall be spending New years eve away from parents and siblings. Yes it is just another day, which because of the Gregorian calendar, signifies the onset of the new year. But it is significant for me. I admit I am slightly delicate and I see things with a sensitive slant.

I am more than happy and grateful. I have a mental smile that stretches from ear to ear.

It has been an eventful year. And I look forward to many many more, sharing every moment with the new breeze in my life.