Altruism

The tendency of humans to help others for the purpose of getting something back is a sign of the times we all live in. Or is it? Most of us are selfish gits. Our selfishness varies depending on whom we deal with. Some are mean to people we don’t know, but very helpful to people we care about whereas others can be helpful to everyone only if it suits their needs.

The characteristic to be altruistic is rarely found. And if it exists, people tend to be wary, assuming that a hidden agenda must be present.

The question arises, which is more influential in developing our helpful tendencies? It is nature or nurture? Is the ability to be helpful innate or does the society and family help nurture it? Some of us close our helpful and giving side because of experiences or events that we might have faced. The opposite is also true; some of use might become more helpful and caring because of certain events and experiences.

There are people out there who keep a tab on the number of times they have been helpful and expect something in return. Some only want something in return when the need arises. Others just help because assistance is required and move on. They don’t have a tally chart telling them of who they have helped, how many times and to what degree.

Well everyone is different.

If I can help you, I’ll be gladdened. Then I’ll forget about it i.e. not have a record/tally of what I did and how many times etc. And if I can’t help you, apologies, hope I can some other time.

Cups

I realised something during the holidays. I drink more tea when I am home than when I am in my flat in Bristol. Why? Well, possibly because the cups at home are nicer or because those cups have stories behind them. They have history. The cups I have are bland white things. They were bought to meet the minimum kitchen utensils limit. They are handy and of course required, but somehow, not comforting.

I wonder what would happen if I brought the cups from home to my place? Would I be able to enjoy a ‘cup of tea’ and not just the ‘tea’?

Maybe in a few years time my cups will have stories to tell. For now I’ll just have my tea/milk/coffee in them and I’m sure I’ll warm to the cups gradually.

Human Facades

Should I be surprised at the secrets someone holds? Should I be surprised at someone who smiles and is cheerful all the time but actually is in pain? I have been surprised recently by what some people have revealed, but pleasantly. It shows how fragile and complex all of us are.

Some of us hide emotional pain behind a curtain of joviality. Others hide anger behind a drape of seriousness. Many hide insecurity; insecure about being left alone and not being loved.

I have learnt many things in the past few months, in particular, interesting facts about others and myself. In general, the following observations have been corroborated:
Everyone deserves being listened to, no matter who they are, what they have done and what they think of others.

Not everyone can listen. Some are good, some try to be good and others are just impatient. Some of us share our thoughts with everyone, while others only talk to a few friends who are self confessed counsellors/good listeners/ advisors.
When you lend your ear/shoulder don’t think that you have to say something or give advice or try and change someone’s thought process. Just listening is good enough. Like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/preeti.k.1

Anger

Ever felt like smacking someone's face off their shoulders? Or making a guy sing like a high pitched opera singer? Or felt like using a crowbar to smash someone's car windows?

Gosh, you might think, this person has violent tendencies. On the contrary, am someone who thinks twice before doing or saying anything, or at least I'd like to think I do.

I'm sure everyone has volcanic eruptive moments, where you just want to give the other person a piece of your mind. But what will that do? Nothing. So count to 3 or 7 or 20, depending on your requirements, and then move forward.

When there is good understanding between people, they will know when the other is angry. That comes with time. Of course sometimes people are way off and just add fuel to fire without knowing that they are doing so.

Don't let anger eat you, and don't let it eat at others. No problem was ever solved (without causing friction) with anger. So breath in...and release. Now move on, with a smile. After all, just as Benjamin Franklin said, Anger is never without Reason, but seldom with a good One.

A Message, A Question

When the wind blows eastward
And the sun begins to rise
My message shall fall upon your ears
And you shall see with your eyes.

I stand here before you
Asking a question, a rhetoric one
About life.

I stand tall, because of who you are
You told me to look forward into the future
And behind into the past
To learn and remember.

I fight, I cry, I laugh and lie.
But never do I mean harm.
It might seem that I don't listen
But I cannot subscribe to one thought
For I thrive on many.

I am myself, still moulding and mending,
Learning and living.
I ask you, who am I?
Then I can do justice to telling you who I am.

- Written on 22/8/7

THUD

Thud...ouch...momentary concussion.

Did I just fall out of a dream or did I actually fall? Hmm...I can't tell the difference anymore. Can the two worlds meet, the dream world and the conscious cold cruel world? I wonder.

Maybe I'm in one of my dream states now. Who's to know?

Things are never black or white, things never move in a straight line either. Heisenberg's uncertainty principle, not only applies to particles but to human beings too.

But hang on, you can pull the reigns of life and take control. That is why we are human. Sure, sometimes the horse doesn't listen and goes its own way, but you can control it. You might wish to stroke it, give it attention, or just kick its side and make it trot on. Which one is better? Whatever suits you and the situation I suppose.

Hahaha...how can one not see what is coming though? Maybe because you're enjoying the moment a wee bit too much. Hmm...

Life is a lot of fun, but for some people silly things...ok not silly; things bring them down. I guess not everyone is brought up with the phrase 'chin up dear' ringing in their ears.

Now, does pulling one's chin up mean ignoring issues or does it mean facing them chin on (couldn't help the pun!) ?

Oh well, whatever the case may be, everyone will have issues. Everyone has different ways of dealing with them. Some deal with them and some don't. The point is, try and get what you want without hurting others. Try and get what you want by hook and not by crook.

So children, the moral of the story is...don't fall asleep on the job. Keep your heart and mind in check.