Thursday, 26 November 2009

The honeymoon is over

The honeymoon is well and truly over. It was over a long time ago, however I do sometimes wonder if it was ever there.

So many things have been said and so many things have not been done that they make me wonder, why on earth do people get married.

I am writing this possibly because I am in a quandry. What do I want more, being able to do things the way I think is best for concerned parties whilst being objective or follow the heart and let it take me where I might find a momentary holiday. Why momentary? Well, you can only enjoy not doing things for so long. How long can someone stand being the housemaker. Sure there are many things to keep the mind occupied. However it is still daunting to think that I might have to sit at home for a year or more before I get a job I might enjoy. I won't be able to update the facade of things contaminated without asking for permission, it is not neutral ground, as someone quit clearly stated, it is their turf.

On an offshoot, some people just don't understand which adjectives actually describe them. Practical, I don't think so. More like, unnecessarily, a clean freak. Caring, yeah right. Easy going, I certainly don't think so. And worst of all, nice. Do not call yourself nice, because you probably aren't nice if you feel the need to say that about yourself.

Do I care enough to lose what I have? People say, you either marry for love, money or something which will help you make a better life.

Get real, love doesn't give you anything, it is a momentary fuzzy feeling that comes and goes. For me the disappearance of that feeling was catalysed by the fact that some conspired to try and make me live like a fool. Too bad that didn't work out. I still get so angry when I think about it.

Anywho, I landed back on lovely earth pretty quickly and found myself wondering what the hell have I got myself into. I am trying to get to the root cause, it is this an ego issue, monetary issue or a feasibility issue?

So, where does the honeymoon come into all of this. Well, I am not thinking w.r.t. love anymore.