Well well well

Ha…I could push you so hard that you hit the floor and hurt your back side. Or I might never talk to you. Or I might ask you questions that would make you cry. Or I might just leave it all, forgive and forget. No hang on…forgive maybe…but forget…never.

So, if I don’t forget does that mean I haven’t completely forgiven you? Possibly. I think both go hand in hand. If you forget the incident/event/statement/whatever, then it might not have been substantial, therefore you have forgiven. Or you might have actually forgotten the episode but when you come face to face with the person involved (or something that cues a memory), old feelings resurface i.e. you have not forgotten and therefore not forgiven.

Can you forgive and not forget? Maybe. I don’t think I could, but then I’m being presumptuous.

I will take a stance that suits me, I will either be civil but give you the cold shoulder. Or I will be friendly and gentle. Or I will make sarcastic comments about anything and everything related to you. Or all of the above.

Selfish you might think. Well, we are all complex. The simplest of actions can result in the most complex of reactions. I think it is because of the ability of humans to be emotive. Now where would the switch be?!

Altruism

The tendency of humans to help others for the purpose of getting something back is a sign of the times we all live in. Or is it? Most of us are selfish gits. Our selfishness varies depending on whom we deal with. Some are mean to people we don’t know, but very helpful to people we care about whereas others can be helpful to everyone only if it suits their needs.

The characteristic to be altruistic is rarely found. And if it exists, people tend to be wary, assuming that a hidden agenda must be present.

The question arises, which is more influential in developing our helpful tendencies? It is nature or nurture? Is the ability to be helpful innate or does the society and family help nurture it? Some of us close our helpful and giving side because of experiences or events that we might have faced. The opposite is also true; some of use might become more helpful and caring because of certain events and experiences.

There are people out there who keep a tab on the number of times they have been helpful and expect something in return. Some only want something in return when the need arises. Others just help because assistance is required and move on. They don’t have a tally chart telling them of who they have helped, how many times and to what degree.

Well everyone is different.

If I can help you, I’ll be gladdened. Then I’ll forget about it i.e. not have a record/tally of what I did and how many times etc. And if I can’t help you, apologies, hope I can some other time.

Cups

I realised something during the holidays. I drink more tea when I am home than when I am in my flat in Bristol. Why? Well, possibly because the cups at home are nicer or because those cups have stories behind them. They have history. The cups I have are bland white things. They were bought to meet the minimum kitchen utensils limit. They are handy and of course required, but somehow, not comforting.

I wonder what would happen if I brought the cups from home to my place? Would I be able to enjoy a ‘cup of tea’ and not just the ‘tea’?

Maybe in a few years time my cups will have stories to tell. For now I’ll just have my tea/milk/coffee in them and I’m sure I’ll warm to the cups gradually.