Silence

I like the sound of silence. I mean I like the sound of the word ‘silence’. You can’t hear silence per se, however silence can be measured i.e. not picking up certain waves audible to the human ear is a measure of silence, making it tangible. Hence you can ‘hear’ silence.

Well, there isn’t enough of it around. There is always some kind of noise in the background, though I must say, at the moment I can hear nothing but the intermittent sound of my computer‘s hard disk trying to locate information which I didn’t ask for.

At night when darkness blankets the sky, its companion quietness doesn’t always make an appearance. Natural and man made sound affects fill the air. Barks of a fox and the whipping of air by helicopter rotors are just two examples. Foxes, now that is an animal I could write a whole paragraph on, but then again I’m sure Sir David Attenborough has narrated a whole series of programs on this weird and at times annoying creature.

Back to where we were. I think at times, some people surround themselves by sounds, be it music, the TV, friends chatting away etc. because they are afraid to be left alone with their thoughts. That isn’t always the case, but it does happen. Silence can bring thoughts and memories, which one might wish to suppress, to the fore. But then again, silence can also induce happy thoughts and memories. It just depends on the state of mind one is in. Of course, sounds too provide cues to certain things and can result in a chain of ideas.

It is nice to just sit in silence and let your mind wander. The brain always finds ways of keeping itself occupied, being such a marvellous piece of organic engineering. Is it ever quiet? When the brain is deprived of oxygen for quite a while, yes, otherwise I think not.

It is amazing to think, that even when there is silence all around, there is so much happening and so much can be said without making a sound.

Moon walking

Moon walking isn’t too hard. All it takes is knowing the steps and practising those steps until they become seamless. Anyway that’s beside the point.

I noticed that I haven’t soaked in enough of the moon. I miss being able to stand on a balcony in the night and be draped in moonlight. Well there are many factors that make people wary and weary of walking in the night and enjoying the view of the night sky. Safety, the weather (in particular clouds) and light pollution are some of the factors that spring to mind. It’s not always safe to walk in the night and sit in a park to absorb the silence. If there are clouds in the sky there are no stars to look at, although clouds do create a marvel of colour in the night sky. And of course, street lights. Light pollution is quite prevalent but it is heartening to see that local governments are taking actions to counter this.

What initiated this talk about the celestial body that orbits the earth? Well, I was standing in the car park after work at around half five in the evening and looked up. The sky was clear with various shades of blue. I could make out one of the most popular constellations, Ursa Major (or minor). After many days of rain and cloud it was marvellous to look up and see a crystal clear sky.

As spring approaches, I’m sure many more evenings shall be pleasant and one would want to just sit in a comfy reclining chair in a quite area, with a cup of tea and envelope oneself in the thought that you are moving in an orderly manner in a chaotic cosmos.

The Moon

A clear sky after sunset,
A canvas with multiple shades of blue.
Stars visible at the darker end,
Unaccompanied by the moon.

A waxing crescent will start to appear.
A tilted grin, a waif,
Delightfully ethereal.

The grin grows into a gasp, saying ‘O’,
‘Look at you, down below’,
‘Basking in my aura’.

Slowly it begins to wane,
‘I shall be back, miss me not’, says the moon.
‘Hope there are no clouds to block the view’.

It winks.
It grins, bidding adieu.

Well well well

Ha…I could push you so hard that you hit the floor and hurt your back side. Or I might never talk to you. Or I might ask you questions that would make you cry. Or I might just leave it all, forgive and forget. No hang on…forgive maybe…but forget…never.

So, if I don’t forget does that mean I haven’t completely forgiven you? Possibly. I think both go hand in hand. If you forget the incident/event/statement/whatever, then it might not have been substantial, therefore you have forgiven. Or you might have actually forgotten the episode but when you come face to face with the person involved (or something that cues a memory), old feelings resurface i.e. you have not forgotten and therefore not forgiven.

Can you forgive and not forget? Maybe. I don’t think I could, but then I’m being presumptuous.

I will take a stance that suits me, I will either be civil but give you the cold shoulder. Or I will be friendly and gentle. Or I will make sarcastic comments about anything and everything related to you. Or all of the above.

Selfish you might think. Well, we are all complex. The simplest of actions can result in the most complex of reactions. I think it is because of the ability of humans to be emotive. Now where would the switch be?!

Altruism

The tendency of humans to help others for the purpose of getting something back is a sign of the times we all live in. Or is it? Most of us are selfish gits. Our selfishness varies depending on whom we deal with. Some are mean to people we don’t know, but very helpful to people we care about whereas others can be helpful to everyone only if it suits their needs.

The characteristic to be altruistic is rarely found. And if it exists, people tend to be wary, assuming that a hidden agenda must be present.

The question arises, which is more influential in developing our helpful tendencies? It is nature or nurture? Is the ability to be helpful innate or does the society and family help nurture it? Some of us close our helpful and giving side because of experiences or events that we might have faced. The opposite is also true; some of use might become more helpful and caring because of certain events and experiences.

There are people out there who keep a tab on the number of times they have been helpful and expect something in return. Some only want something in return when the need arises. Others just help because assistance is required and move on. They don’t have a tally chart telling them of who they have helped, how many times and to what degree.

Well everyone is different.

If I can help you, I’ll be gladdened. Then I’ll forget about it i.e. not have a record/tally of what I did and how many times etc. And if I can’t help you, apologies, hope I can some other time.

Cups

I realised something during the holidays. I drink more tea when I am home than when I am in my flat in Bristol. Why? Well, possibly because the cups at home are nicer or because those cups have stories behind them. They have history. The cups I have are bland white things. They were bought to meet the minimum kitchen utensils limit. They are handy and of course required, but somehow, not comforting.

I wonder what would happen if I brought the cups from home to my place? Would I be able to enjoy a ‘cup of tea’ and not just the ‘tea’?

Maybe in a few years time my cups will have stories to tell. For now I’ll just have my tea/milk/coffee in them and I’m sure I’ll warm to the cups gradually.

Human Facades

Should I be surprised at the secrets someone holds? Should I be surprised at someone who smiles and is cheerful all the time but actually is in pain? I have been surprised recently by what some people have revealed, but pleasantly. It shows how fragile and complex all of us are.

Some of us hide emotional pain behind a curtain of joviality. Others hide anger behind a drape of seriousness. Many hide insecurity; insecure about being left alone and not being loved.

I have learnt many things in the past few months, in particular, interesting facts about others and myself. In general, the following observations have been corroborated:
Everyone deserves being listened to, no matter who they are, what they have done and what they think of others.

Not everyone can listen. Some are good, some try to be good and others are just impatient. Some of us share our thoughts with everyone, while others only talk to a few friends who are self confessed counsellors/good listeners/ advisors.
When you lend your ear/shoulder don’t think that you have to say something or give advice or try and change someone’s thought process. Just listening is good enough. Like they say, a problem shared is a problem halved.